Koch:Krugman :: Moriarty:Holmes

Have you found yourself wondering lately about those mysterious and suddenly much-discussed Koch Brothers? Wonder no more. Your humble correspondent has performed a background check on one of those brothers, David Koch, and found him to be wily indeed.

Trained in the subversive arts of chemical engineering at that noted hatchery of wingnuts, the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Mr. Koch has sought to disguise his deep, dark mischief by donning the veil of philanthropy. For instance, in 2007 he gave his alma mater $100 million to establish a new cancer-research center. This came on top of the $115 million in gifts he has made to other anti-cancer programs at Johns Hopkins, Sloan-Kettering, and M.D. Anderson, among other institutions.

Further evidence of Koch’s clever tactics are the $100 million he has given toward the renovation of New York City’s Lincoln Center, the cynosure of high culture in the heart of blue-stateness, as well as $20 million to that city’s Museum of Natural History and $15 million to the Smithsonian Institution.

Clearly, these gifts are just a clever ruse to divert the public’s attention away from what Mr. Koch really cares about, which is to be able to obtain discounted prices on old power plants from the State of Wisconsin. Absurd, you say? Just ask that authority on all things, Paul Krugman. You see, being a Nobel Prize-winning economist, he knows how to interpret evidence:

Indeed, there are enough suspicious minds out there that Koch Industries, owned by the billionaire brothers who are playing such a large role in Mr. Walker’s anti-union push, felt compelled to issue a denial that it’s interested in purchasing any of those power plants.

You see, denying their interest in old power plants is exactly what the Kochs would do if they were interested! This Krugman fellow–a Sherlock for our times–is too clever to be deceived by such transparent trickery. He knows when a modern Moriarty moves his pieces on the Great Chessboard. He knows when the game is afoot.

Consider yourselves warned.

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